Christmas came early to my corner of the world today. Late morning the Fed Ex guy knocked on my door and delivered a package with Precious Moments on the outside. I thought I had stopped my membership with them…or had I? I opened the box to find a receipt, it was a Christmas gift from you youngest daughter LeighAnna. A cute little girl Precious Moment statue with a big bonnet, wearing crocs and holding a giant sunflower. It brought more than a few tears. Once upon a time, every year my kids would buy me a Precious Moment for Christmas. I probably have over 100 statues packed away in boxes. I do have a few sitting out, gifts from BT, some that were my mom’s but not many. It was a very thoughtful gift that brought back some great memories from the past.
Tonight after work I walked up to the post office to find an envelope with my address and my daughter Shelly’s name. She had sent me a few cryptic text messages over the weekend asking if I would be home on January 8. Well, the surprise–tickets to see Jim Brickman with the Dallas Symphony. I have loved the music of Jim Brickman for a very long time. I had tickets to see him in concert at the Fraze in Dayton and ended up in Dallas that weekend for a job interview. When I opened the envelope and realized what she had done I stood at the mailbox and cried.
As a parent, there are times when you wonder if the things that you do as your children are growing up have any impact or influence on them. It’s hard to tell sometimes. I know that I was about 25 when I realized that my parents were a lot smarter than I gave them credit to be. My daughters are 24 and soon to be 26. I know that some of my life choices have left them dazed and confused at times.
For most of their growing up years, I was mom, always there, always doing for them and for others. I overachieve at everything, even the mom thing. Then one day I decided to make a change for me and flipped their world upside down. That was 4 years ago. There have been lots of hurts, and lots of pains for them and also for me. But in the past few weeks, I’ve realized that I am feeling happy, strong and renewed. It’s taking me that long to learn simple truths about life, about my life. It’s been one crazy roller coaster ride, some good decisions, some poor decisions…some flat out how the hell did this happen craziness.
I enter this new decade with a sense of purpose, a sense of who I am. My theme for the next year–not sure about the decade, let’s take it one year at a time.
“Today’s the day to be brand new – new life, new love, new perspectives, new you. Inner changes produce outer results!”
No more am I willing to accept less than I should in a job, in a person, in a friendship, in a relationship. I’ve been through more than enough drama and heartache. Those were decisions made by a person who just didn’t have her head on straight..or the inner stuff under control. I hold no grudges, bitterness or anger toward the people who took advantage of my giving nature and my kind spirit. Doing that would forever keep me tied to those challenging times.
I have a few days to ponder the rest of my resolutions for 2011, to think about what new items to add to my bucket list.
Life is to be lived, one day, one adventure, one year and one decade at a time. Look out world TexAnnie has her boots on and she’s ready to hug the stuffin’ out of a new life.
Yee Haw! This is going to be my decade…