I feel like I have been on a giant roller coaster all week. It’s the Hulk Coaster at Islands of Adventure—the same one where I saw my life flash in front of my eyes a few years ago. This one has made me feel just as sick this week with my insides feeling like they have been twisted and turned into places that they shouldn’t have been. I’ve had that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, to the point of being physically ill. Yes, it has been that bad….
Seriously…I’ve been through far worse weeks in my life. I’ve been through a divorce, the death of a parent and so much more. Yes, those were challenging times, but I ALWAYS knew that on the other side of those challenges that life had something amazing in store for me. There were no signs that this would happen, just a feeling in my heart that all would be right with my world again, somehow it would happen.
I’ve felt out of sorts for a few weeks now. At first I thought it was the letdown of finally getting to Hawaii, I had a great time there and being with my daughter for that much was one of those chance of a lifetime experiences. Even my trip to Ohio was filled with joy and fun with friends.
I think I’ve been going through all sorts of changes and adventures since moving to Texas two years ago…it’s hard to believe but I’m quickly approaching the date that I drove across the state line of Texas and shouted Yee Haw at the top of my lungs with tears running down my face.
I am lucky to have a great group of friends who circled the wagons and sent words of encouragement as I was melting down this week. Once upon a time, I would have stuffed those feelings down, and hidden them from the world. Now, I tell people when I am happy, and when I am struggling. I think it’s important to realize that even people with positive attitudes and the ability to make life changing moves still have doubts, fears and meltdowns now and then.
…these lows make the highs seem that much higher…
This weekend, I’m doing things to feed my spirit.. Friday night I’m going out dancing. Saturday I’m making a trip to Fort Worth to visit the Kimbell and to spend some time at The Stockyards. That is one of my favorite places in Texas and I haven’t been there since the Willie Nelson concert in January. That’s far too long…
I seem to be searching for the next challenge in my life…hobby? adventure? person? I’m still trying to sort all of that out.
Dear Universe…ummm a little help here please?