It’s been a week…

I feel like I have been on a giant roller coaster all week.  It’s the Hulk Coaster at Islands of Adventure—the same one where I saw my life flash in front of my eyes a few years ago.  This one has made me feel just as sick this week with my insides feeling like they have been twisted and turned into places that they shouldn’t have been.  I’ve had that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, to the point of being physically ill.  Yes, it has been that bad….

Seriously…I’ve been through far worse weeks in my life.  I’ve been through a divorce, the death of a parent and so much more.  Yes, those were challenging times, but I ALWAYS knew that on the other side of those challenges that life had something amazing in store for me.  There were no signs that this would happen, just a feeling in my heart that all would be right with my world again, somehow it would happen.

I’ve felt out of sorts for a few weeks now.  At first I thought it was the letdown of finally getting to Hawaii, I had a great time there and being with my daughter for that much was one of those chance of a lifetime experiences.  Even my trip to Ohio was filled with joy and fun with friends.

I think I’ve been going through all sorts of changes and adventures since moving to Texas two years ago…it’s hard to believe but I’m quickly approaching the date that I drove across the state line of Texas and shouted Yee Haw at the top of my lungs with tears running down my face.

I am lucky to have a great group of friends who circled the wagons and sent words of encouragement as I was melting down this week.  Once upon a time, I would have stuffed those feelings down, and hidden them from the world.  Now, I tell people when I am happy, and when I am struggling. I think it’s important to realize that even people with positive attitudes and the ability to make life changing moves still have doubts, fears and meltdowns now and then.

…these lows make the highs seem that much higher…

This weekend, I’m doing things to feed my spirit.. Friday night I’m going out dancing.  Saturday I’m making a trip to Fort Worth to visit the Kimbell and to spend some time at The Stockyards.  That is one of my favorite places in Texas and I haven’t been there since the Willie Nelson concert in January.  That’s far too long…

I seem to be searching for the next challenge in my life…hobby? adventure? person?  I’m still trying to sort all of that out.

Dear Universe…ummm a little help here please?

4 thoughts on “It’s been a week…

  1. It’s an old saying, but in this case pretty true, been there, done that. I remember days I thought, oh no..not another day of things coming apart, I’ve had enough. I understand the need for change, challenge, and new things to be passionate about.

    Glad you have your circle of good friends.I personally think meltdowns are OK ever so often. My line is I’m having my weekly nervous break down.

    Have fun this weekend.

  2. you reminded me of something that struck me a long time ago. I was having a bad day at work, many years ago, and I was shocked to see how pissed off it made my coworkers. In questioning it later they said they didn’t like me being in a bad mood. I was amazed… I get that I am generally a disgustingly happy (albeit sarcastic) person who is constantly rejoicing in the good things in my life and but seriously… sometimes the bad stuff still gets to us. We need to know that it is going to be okay for us to have those days and that our people will still be our people on the other side of it. You know you have those people and when you work your way through it, we will be here with you to rejoice the good and amazing stuff again. And until you get there… we are here with you still.

  3. Hey, I thought about you this week but didn’t get a chance to call. Hope your friends were able to provide some good circled wagons. Have a great time in Fort Worth. If you get a chance go to Dutch’s. It is over there by TCU but well worth the drive.

  4. I think you provided the answer – the anniversary of your move is coming up. Anniversary time is always reflective…times when we question where we were and where we are. Even though you’re sure you did the right thing by moving, it can still be a time to have a bad case of the “what-if’s”. It’s OK. You are a wonderful and wise woman. You have lots of people who love you. You are honest enough to admit to moments of doubt and weakness. That just makes us love you more.

    {{BIG HUGS}}

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