That poem came to mind tonight as I’ve spent the week pondering friends, friendships and pieces of my past. I am constantly surprised by moments that seem to come from out of nowhere but I realize they are part of the lessons that I have been put here to learn….
I’ve been fortunate to have some great people as part of my life. They always seem to be there when I need them, sometimes randomly out of nowhere the right person will come into my life. Some just for brief moments, and some though they have moved on are still very much a part of the fabric of my life.
The people on my mind this week..the friend that suddenly seems to be distancing himself. It has me confused, and a bit troubled. I’ve searched my brain, searched my heart to see if there’s been something that I’ve done to cause this crack in our friendship—no. I can’t look to any thing that I have done. For me that’s a huge shift in perception. I’ve spent a great deal of my life always taking the blame, believing that I wasn’t good enough, that it had to be my fault. In my heart I am hoping that he will battle his doubts and demons and realize that I truly am his friend, and am here if he needs me. That’s just how friends are.
The long ago friend who I seem to be having a dialog with on my blog. I love having you back in my life, but the distance you create between us with your anonymity makes me wonder. Why? I won’t bite, I mean you no harm, I want to be your friend…you had a tremendous impact on my life in more ways than you will ever know. It was a very sad and heartbreaking moment when you walked away…disappeared from my life. Let’s close the distance and work on becoming friends again? Stop hiding, you have my email address, it hasn’t changed since you melted away from my life.
Tonight a person crossed my path that I hadn’t talked to in years. I thought it was 2 years, but later realized it was 3. I received an alert that his birthday is on the horizon. I just sent a short email checking in, wishing him a Happy Birthday…never expecting him to respond. He did, and we had about an hour conversation tonight on Yahoo Messenger. Three years seems a lifetime ago, and it was definitely a tumultuous time in my life, a crossroads to change. It helped to bring a little closure to that chapter and I asked him to stay in touch..I can tell he’s hurting and has pulled back inside of himself, bruised by the world.
I had a deep hurt earlier this week from a friend who means a great deal to me. He’s in a dark place, and I hope that he finds his way out. I hope that I can hang in there with him, but he makes it harder and harder each day. I hate seeing all of the ugly and the hate.
I also have had to deal with some of my own personal demons. Yes, even happy go lucky Polly Anna has down days and times of the year that poke the tigers from her past. I could feel myself being sucked into that vortex this week as Valentine’s Day approached. I felt myself starting to fall back on old habits and retreating into that shell, that fight or flight mentality. Trying to hide from myself.
As crazy as it seems, two things pulled me out of it…baking cookies for Valentine’s Day. There’s just something about pink icing hearts that brings a smile to my face. It’s really not the baking that makes me smile as much as the giving. It’s that rush of doing good deeds, that helper’s high that will pull me out of just about any funk. It’s hard to feel sorry for yourself when you are doing things for other people. For me, it works every time. Part two was creating the Valentine’s Day heart that is on my profile. My first thought was to create some anti-hearts day heart..like I hate Valentine’s Day–but there weren’t that many letters available. Instead, into my head popped Love Life.
I love life each and every day, why should the ghosts from Valentine’s Day past continue to haunt me…unless I let them. So this year, for hearts day, I Love Life and all it has to offer.
A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime…there’s a reason that you are a part of my life. A lesson to learn, a lifetime to share, there are no accidental connections…
A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or
a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you
will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is
usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have
come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you
with guidance and support, to aid you physically,
emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a
godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason
you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an
inconvenient time, this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our
desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you
sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount
of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things
you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the
person, and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life. It is said
that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.