“I’ve never tried to block out the memories of the past, even though some are painful. I don’t understand people who hide from their past. Everything you live through helps to make you the person you are now.” –Sophia Loren
I have spent the weekend making memories. I’ve had a big event, the Willie Nelson concert, a helper high event, making sandwiches for the homeless in Dallas, and a just hanging out with friends watching the Dallas Cowboys play on TV. Each of these events were filled with love, laughter and imprinted memories in my brain and on my heart. My life is so abundant and filled with so much joy and happiness.
It’s amazing how little things can take you back to a time in your life when memories were made. Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend who is dealing with some very challenging health issues with her father, and of course the conversation turned to quality of life, and took me back to the last few months of my mother’s life. We talked about the dialysis, and I remember my mom pulling out the shunt, this is not what she wanted, and being there the last time the ambulance picked her up and took her to dialysis the week before she died. I can see her tears and hear her cries of pain when they returned her home afterwards. I can remember driving home after that weekend and in my heart knowing that it was time to let her go, it was the right thing to do. Her body stepped in, and made that decision and Hospice was there to help make the end much more comfortable for her.
Today I heard from another friend who reached out to ask for help and support for her mother that has been diagnosed with cancer. I sat at the computer, tears streaming down my face knowing how much it meant to me to have the support of my friends when I was dealing with those months of my mom in the hospital. I can still see in my mind those Saturdays when I would walk into her room and see the cards sent by my friends. Each one of those not just a card of support for my mom, but they felt like hugs to me. One day I will find the strength to put them together in an album. For now, I’ve been able to look at them all again once, when I really needed a dose of support. (crazy Asians!)
Yesterday I saw a video posted by a friend that also talks about loss and the end of life. I admire Meachy’s faith and her determination.
Driving home from the concert the other night the conversation in the car turned to friendship. I know that I have an incredible circle of friends. I could ask for help and there would be all sorts of people in line to help. I would do the same for all of them, and as an extension for that for those that are important in their life.
I think the Universe has been sending me messages this weekend about living and enjoying life. It also is a clear message to tell people how you feel, to let them know that they matter to you. Maybe my role in the Universe is to put these thoughts together and to help people realize that it’s important to be in the moment, and to not put things off..saying that one day I will do this..or one day I will do that. If something is on your mind, or in your heart to do…do it now.
Perhaps part of this reflection is also tied to the next generation, my oldest daughter’s birthday is today. She sent me a few text messages yesterday asking me what time she was born? She wanted to make sure she was celebrating at the hour that she was born. (Kids, gotta love em!) I told her she was actually 2 weeks late, and they had to induce labor. I told her that I had to be at the hospital at 7:00 a.m. but she didn’t actually arrive until 3:30. It took me back to that time in my life, I remember being huge, waddling around miserable, the room at the hospital, the delivery room. Memories are so very powerful.
~ We do not remember days; we remember moments. ~