“Never get tired of doing little things for others. Sometimes, those little
things occupy the biggest part of their hearts.” –Author Unknown
Yesterday was a tough day for me…I put a package in the mail to each of my daughters for Christmas and really was not prepared for how hard that would hit me. Last year I was in Ohio in early December, and we celebrated Christmas together at that time. But this year, I won’t be going back to Ohio. It really didn’t make much sense, traveling there in the cold of winter to only have an hour–2 at the most with them. So I opted to stay in Texas this year and to mail their packages. It’s not the first Christmas that I spent without them, three years ago I was all alone on Christmas and very depressed, I can honestly say it was the saddest Christmas of my life, even harder than when my mom died on Christmas eve the next year..
Don’t be sad for me, I’m certainly not sad. Yes, there were a lot of tears yesterday, but my life is amazing, and I am very happy with the place that I am in these days. I will find a way to see both daughters in 2010, if it means them coming here, or me going to where they are. Maybe that eased that ache in a mother’s heart a bit.
Christmas has always been a time filled with many traditions for me. I smiled on Friday night when my daughter in Hawaii sent me pictures of her Hawaiian Christmas tree and a cookie sheet full of gingerbread men and cats that she was baking for the holidays. Yesterday I received a Christmas card from my Ohio daughter and her boyfriend. Baking and sending cards were traditions that my daughters grew up with, it’s nice to see them continuing those traditions even though we are far apart this year. I have no doubts that both of them will be baking sugar cookies using their mom’s cookie recipe this season.
I feel a bit like Santa’s baking elf, I’ve long since lost count of just how many cookies I have baked this year…probably more than I have baked in my entire life. But my circle of friends, and adopted family extend far and wide. I’ve made great new friends in Texas and I have friends scattered all over the US. My goal this year was to send off boxes to cookies to friends. Last Wednesday I put 24 boxes of cookies in the mail. Most of them arrived yesterday and the thanks from friends really helped me move past the sadness of not being with my daughters.
Life is about choices, and those choices usually come with a price. I told both daughters that my wish for Christmas from them this year is copies of all of those years of pictures with Santa that I left behind. It’s a small request, and I hope that they find a way to make that happen. Those times of standing in line at the mall to be photographed with Santa were a Christmas tradition that carried over well into their teens. I remember the year when they stopped getting their pictures taken with Santa, they were “too cool” for that to happen. I remember crying, and being very upset…but life went on, and I still had years of grinning photos with Santa in gold frames that decorated the mantle every year at Christmas.
I’ve had a busy holiday season, baking, making scarves for special friends and sending Christmas cards. My tree is up and filled with lights and ornaments from Christmas past. I’ve added a few new ornaments this year, marking my first full year in Texas. I feel that I am home. I’ve known for quite some time that this is the place that I belong. I have a very full life filled with lots of friends and love. I have friends that are struggling financially, emotionally and physically this year. It’s made me take a look at my life. I have a job that I love, the people I work with are amazing, my circle of friends never cease to amaze me, I am living a life of abundance beyond what I ever could have imagined even a year ago.
Life is good…tis the season, share the love.